why is it that it takes something so drastic for you to finally realise that life isnt life,it's just a learning process which u fail gradually?

something so small and so delicate as a flower can easily be wisked away to the point where their is nothing left but residue of what was ment to be...

*huggles and kisses to caz*

cheer up love,it'll all b good in d end,u will see...

...arghhh boys r smelly,and parents are so mean *grumbles*

...and please dnt be mad at my decision,altho it was kinda already decided...we tried and we failed,so lets leave it that way yeh?! please dnt be mad, i just dnt c the point in draggin it on longer than needed...ok? it wud b nice if fings were differnent bt they aint 8'(

Goodbyes are perfectly written to fit...

...so leave it that way....

Just be urself and let me be me....

FFFFFFUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is gonna b a pointless blog,but it myt aswel be done coz its bin buggin me...alot!

To everyone at skewl and generally that era...ryt,i no wots bin goin on hasnt been good,and its all whirling out of praportion...i just basically need it,well this between us,to b sorted and over...coz i cnt deal with this and wot is else goin on  aswel...i cnt say i regret wot has happend between us (wel i regret us not gettin on)but i always believe stuf happens for a reason...but lets just end it...iv accepted we aint friends and probably wont ever b again,but i really am sorry for everything that has happend...i just wish it didnt end the way it has...its total mind fuckin and i h8 it...so can we jst leave it...?

like i said i cant deal with this as wel with everythin that is goin on,i cnt even believ im rytin this coz i shud b doin other stuf like try stop my family down,my home,my mum,my life...everything...

and mum (even tho u will never read this) dnt worry,things will all get better.i do wish he never told u wot he told u and u then goin on to tell me...i accpet now everythin will b shit now,but we r gna make it thru...we managed the josh dalama didnt we...this si jst gna b a nother one of them...we aint gna die...we will survive... i love you,and i need you more than u realise..so please dnt do it,again...wot wud me n danialle do with out you...please dont go...

hmmm,maybe now that i havent been on this,mayb the TWO-FUCKING-FACED-PEOPLE will get bored of looking on my blog and stop reading it completely..hm i wonder how long that will last. I doubt it will last long,bcoz im sure sum sad,pathetic fucker will start making accusations and jump to conclusions..haha bcoz that is wot u do...and then u automatically fire it at me.cant accept other people dont care so u fire it at the people who care the most about u...and wot happens..they eventually see u for what u are (a sad pathetic little using shit!) hmmm well,can u tell im pissed off...what was that? care to shout more shit at me?? hmm wel go on.u cant possible say ne thing else to me that cud hurt me more than what YOU have done already! What,sorry i couldnt hear u...oh yeh i forgot,u never speek for yourself,always make sure u have a little crowed to support u,make u feel big and hard. wel im sorry,if u have so much to say then why the fuck dont u tell me so,u dont mind telling everyone else so why dont u tell me,instead of jockin about it...My god,u prob are too shallow to even know what im talkin about...welll,i loook forward to hearing what u have to say hahah,i just fort,i bet u assume i mean something else when i mean something completely different..well let me spell it out...

G.O.O.D.B.Y.E!

how long has this been together...?Too long i think,dont you?God we've had our good times tho,the good,the bad,the ugle,and the dam right FUCKING-ROOD! but it was all good,never the less...and i fink ive just gota accept it...

*changes song*

brrrrr i hate the sad songs,dont you?Always remind me of what was once,and what wont ever be...

*sigh*

Well this is it,take the long road. Might stick around to see whats goin down,but who knows...who knows what secrets i find..or keep finding?!?

*shadey eyes*

so long,n au revoire...

[The Basics]
Full name: Kerry-Ann Stephenson  &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;  Date of birth: 7th September 1987
Gender: female
Location: Kendal, England
Ethnicity: British
Zodiac sign: Virgo
Reason for taking survey: Found it

[Going Deeper]
If any, name any phobias you have: Clowns n Pot dolls *shudder*
If you could come from any country that wasn't your own, what would it be: Australia [i have relatives out there]
Do you drink: Yep
Do you smoke: Sometimes
If so, when did you start smoking: Dunno   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;    If any, what drugs have you done: cannabis, poppers        & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p; Name every country that your Internet friends originate from or live in: uk, , USA
Now do the same for your family: Australia
Are you a junk food person or a healthy eater: if it is eatable i'll eat it
Living arrangement: me and mum n lil sis
Name any pets you have: cat ,dog n random number of stickinsects (wieredo things)
Siblings: sister   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;  Do you like your school: depends if that includes the ppl in it?   &nbs p;     ;     What is your favourite class: wud say art but my teache ris a cock
What is your least favourite: history
What genre of movie do you prefer: horror or really really funny comedy
What movies from that genre do you like the most: erm...horror..erm...house on the haunted hill...n ten things i hate bout yu Are you a gamer? nope
What music genre do you listen to the most: Depends on my mood but normally punck rock or indie stuf
Name some bands/artists you like: erm...chemical romance,the hives,taking back sunday,100 reasons,muse,the used,system of a down..erm i dnt no...loadz,hehe i cnt really say,i lyk loadz!   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;  If you could eliminate the existence of one band/artist, which one would you choose: erm...
Are you into self categorization? If so, what would you call yourself: delete as appropriate: Goff/Goth/Boff[?]/Freak/w hat the fuck?!/Weirdo/Loser/[inse rt stupid townie incoherent scream]...none,im me n me is who i am!

[Favourites]
Time of the year: woteva seasom september is in...    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;  Friend: *thinks long n hard* you know hu u r...
Family member: She is dead...*sobs*
Animal: A snail
Sweet food: erm...bueno chocolate  &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;  Savoury food: marmite
Spicy food: marmite
Country: ...
Colour: black (eventhough its a shade
Sitcom: erm..does teh OC and One True Hill count??        & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;  Cartoon: hmmm...the Boobahss..no w8 those r creepy AHHHHH
TV channel: Channel 4
Pastime: when i had a laff wiv mates
Medical Drug: erm...diazipan oir summ shit..it dnt work so it dnt matter!
Romance movie: ...erm
Sci-fi movie: hmmm i only like the jah-jah-binx stars wars   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;        Action movie: hmmmm
Horror movie: wel,IT was kinda good but it had a clown in it!
Music genre: punck rock   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   Porno: erm..no
Anime: i don't know much about anime..
Magazine: NME
Games console:ps2
Website: Zenhex
Swear word: shit   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp; Ice-cream flavour: thunder n lightnning  &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         Clothing brand, if any: not arsed wot brand it is,aslong as im comfortable thenim happy   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;  Store: MVC!!
Place to relax: dnt really have one
Place to shop:  ne where
Place to party: somewhere wiv alcohol n pref weed

[Beliefs & Opinions]
What is your opinion on...
The War on Terror: they're going about it completely the wrong way...
Abortion: up to the person...not my place ot say wots ryt n wrong
The Illuminati: hehehehe erm...    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;       Capital Punishment: only for those who deserve it
Music/Movie Piracy: what about it? hehe its ace,where wud ya b wivout pirate videos   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;          Satanism: wot ever floats ur boat
Communism: ...
Child Abuse: wrong...sick and wrong
Rape: <see above>
Taxes: ...    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;        Christmas: good if it makes u happy Third World Debt: not needed
Smoking: yis
Republicans: ...
Democrats: ?         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p; Outsourcing: huh
White Pride: ridiculous
White Power (they're different, y'know): <see above>
Racism in general: sick and wrong
Feminism: no...we're all supposed to be equal right?
People who use their cell phones during movies: HELLLLOOOOOOOO!Gay Marriage: i don't see a problem
Nuclear warfare: bang!
Animal Testing: sick and wrong

Do you believe in...
God: Dont know
devil: erm...
Reincarnation: Yup
The Soul: Trapped
Evolution: yup
Angels: where is mine...?
Karma: suppose...

Do you celebrate Christmas: only in the commercial way. pfft
How do you celebrate your birthday: I dont really   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;       What is your religion: I dnt have one really,i was christaned but i dnt hav one.
Does your family have any special customs: erm..gettin in trouboe wiv the police
Have you ever converted from another religion or atheism: no
Are you a vegetarian: nope

[Your Love Life]
Are you in a relationship right now: yup
Describe your current, or most recent relationship: current:great        Are you, or have you ever been in love: yup
What's your sexual orientation: str8
Are you, or do you plan on getting married: dunno,mayb marriage yes
Do you believe in soul-mates: Yes
Do you think long-distance love is possible: no
Could you see yourself being unfaithful: duno never been in that situation
What do you notice about the opposite sex first: eyes
Biggest turn-ons: nice eyes
Biggest turn-offs: erm...
Taller or shorter than you: Taller
Ever broken someone's heart: yes. by accident
Has someone ever broken yours: yup
Do/would you have children: why hav my own when there r enuf kids in orpanages?!?!
Any relationship beliefs (such as Gorean philosophy, etc): ...

[Your Bad Side]
Do you steal, or have you stolen: yes *blushes*
If so, was it from a store or a person you know: *shadey eyes* both
Have you been intimate with someone else's significant other: no...o w8,yes,but i didnt know! oops!
Do you take advantage of other peoples' kindness: No
Have you lied to your parents: all the time
Do you get jealous easily: no
Do you have a bad temper: sometimes
Have you ever made someone cry: only if they deserved it!
Ever physically hurt someone: yup
Do you consider yourself racist: fuck no! i been thru racist shit,i no wot it feels lyk
Must you always seek vengeance: depends how much tye fuckinhurt me! cunts...

[This or That]
Alcohol or Marijuanna: Marijuana but y not both!?
Coca-Cola or Pepsi: erm...bai;eys
A quiet evening at home or a wild night out: wild night in
Extreme intelligence or unbelievable beauty: what about being nice?
A permanent, stable relationship or an insane sex life: Hsppiness..wot ever made me happy!
Christmas without gifts, or Christmas without everything else: without gifts
Rock or Rap: Rock
The ability to fly or the ability to be invisible: Invisible
Hearing or seeing: aeeing,coz i wudnt wna hear the shit ppl sed!
Depression or anxiety: Depression
Immortality without the ability to die, or mortality: Mortality
Death by freezing, or burning: freezing
Death by suffocation or being stabbed: Stabbed
Lots of acquaintances or a few close friends: few close friends
To be a singer or an actor/actress: singer
Eternal day or eternal night: Night
X-Ray vision or psychic abilities: psychic
Sweet or savoury: Sweet
To never sleep or to never eat: Never eat
To eat as much as you want or to sleep as much as you want: sleep
World domination or infinite knowledge of all things: infinite knowledge
Britney Spears or Christina Aquilera: *gets sharp pointy things*
Bush or Kerry: ...
To enslave or to be enslaved: in a kinky sense? i dunno

[The Last]
Person you talked to: define talk? as in a chit chat or reallly really talkin?
Person you argued with: myself   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;        Person you hugged: jamie
Person you kissed: graeme
Person you texted: hel
Phonecall: lindsey
Thing you ate: cheese
Thing you drank~hot choc
Time you showered: i dnt shower..i hav a bath
Time you told someone you loved them: about 5 min ago
Time someone said they loved you: about 5 min ago
Time you laughed: if its a fake laugh that covers what u really feel,then bout 5 min ago   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p; Time you vomited: dnt no
Paycheck: thursday
Time you had sex: erm...thats for me to know
TV show you watched: sum fing where sum1 got chopped up
Song you listened to: Phenomenon
Movie you watched: American Pie was on TV last night..but I wasn't really watching
Dream you had: i got stabbed in the back
Time you got drunk: last nyt
Party you went to: week ago
Item of clothing you bought: um...top
Person you would sleep with: *shrug*

[Have You Ever Been Called]
Bitch: Yes
Bastard: yes
Beautiful: yes
Talented:yes   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   A waste of space: frequently!
Liar: yup
Geek: yup
Nerd: nope
Loser: yes
Peculiar: .yes
Intelligent: yes   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;    Skinny: yes
Fat: yup
Pretty: yup
Preppy: Nope
Goth: haha yes..altho i really dnt no y? n so wot if i was!   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;     Emo: yes
Grunger: no
Fiend: erm...
Innovative: *shrug*
Weirdo: Yes
Stupid: Yes
Retarded: Yes
Annoying: Yes
Freak: Yes
Brat: yup
Minger: Nope
Cute: occasionally
Interesting: Yes
Boring: probably
Slut: yeh *mockingly laughs*
Whore: probably
Whoreface: no
Skank: nope
Asshole: not that i know of
Shitface: shitface(d)...yes..hehehe
Ugly: yup
Disgusting: nope
Shithead: possibly
Cock: dunno
Twat: yes

[Totally Random]
Tell us the first thing you'd do with a million dollars: find something to make me happy...by probably givingit all away   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;  Why is the sky blue: because the grass was already green
Do you consider yourself to be romantic: i dunno
What's the best thing somebody has ever said about you: make me happy wen i was sad
What do you think of South Park: hehehe
Is religious fundamentalism a good idea: i dont know...
Do you like candles: prettyful...ooooh...
Do you think emo people are idiots: onlyif THEY satb u in the back
Do you think goths are idiots: breathing aren't i?
Do you think people who take ridculously long surveys are idiots: yup yup
Do you believe men and women are truly equal: they should be,but life is never that simple
Do you read books very much: yeah,wel..it depends wot type!
Do people consider you to be a bookworm: No
Describe your mother: alcoholic, cold, heartless,difficult,selfi sh..along those lines
What's one thing you would change about your body:I dnt really know,i am who i am so i gues  i will hav to live wiv iut...ryt?
Would you kill one child to save the lives of 1000 children: depends who is the child?
What one thing would a person have to do to deserve death: do something to inflickt severe pain on someone so that the person hu got inflicketd felt so alone that they no longer wanted to live   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp; The most romantic thing somebody's ever done for you: ....
Do you use IRC: what?
Do you use bittorrent: what?
What P2P programs do you use: soulseek
Have you ever skydived: Nope
List three things you want to do before you die: To say im truelly happy,Make someone else happy...be able to look someone in the eye n really be able to say i know them
The world ends and you can only save three people and yourself. Who would you save: What if i dnt wana live?   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         If you could kick anyone's ass, who would it be: not telling
If you could sleep with anyone in the world, who would it be: erm...seth from the OC
Are you bored of this survey yet: yes..and no-one's going to read it
What is the meaning of life: to die

my god that took for fuckin aggeesssssss *grumble*

wow,not seen u in like *thinks* wel if i think bout it it is only bout a couple of days...but this was kinda a rendevouse..heh was soo good..mmmm pizza bread mm n grrrrr dam market place *grumbles* y u hav to b closed..i wna get my phone unblocked *grumbles* o wel...must make a note that i stil owe *E* £10  o he's so ace...but nehoooo gonna go make a cooked ,toffee sauced,squirty creamed banana mmmmmmmm so good *licks lips*

0 b4 i 4get...woooooooooow im on my 3rd driving lesson n i can do it all on my own (hehe i was even in the car on my own at one point...and i got to 3rd gear,AND i reversed PERFECTLY!) ok so i nearly hit a rabbit..BUT i still did it!

oow the pain...ok so i was all happy in the bath then one fing led to anuva,i put the shaver in  my mouth (coz i needed my hands) then oops,it slipped out n shaved my tit...oow oow oow..god it fuckin hurts!i wonder if i shaved like sum of it off..wel i no i did coz it bleedim but i mean..i wonder if it is damaged?!?omg i hav a difformed tit !!!omg i myt look as if i hav ad a boob job...i wonder if i cud get a free of on the NHS to fix my tit??omg the pain..

*runs round in pain*

omg omg omg omg omg omg oww oow oow oow

Everyone is different to some extent, yet we all have at least one thing in common, whether it be our hate for one another, or some bullshit fad that these people seem to have. Anarchy is the only way to become free. To do as you please. Shed some blood, harbor no love. Ministery unto yourself, your own laws. We are only seperated from animals, from our lust to mimick God, trying to create countless things. Its really sad, when you look at the human race. Weapons are fine, really, I wouldn't care if the world was nuked and we all died. It is not my battle to fight against war, it is my battle to fight in my own war. Ideals will always clash its a fucking fact. So you can pretend to be happy, you can pretend to be living lucky. But in the end, its just an act, your mask. At the sight of modern day barberians, you fear contact. So you can say you aren't scared, when deep down inside, you know you would be prey, for you are weak...

...To die fighting is better than to live lieing.

hmm...wel no 1 else to tel..wel not really.u no ppl sed to u u cud but u really no u cnt.they r just doin it to make them selves better. um...so yeh. two days to go. kinda scared.kinda happy.kinda confused. kinda wana get it over wiv...but kinda wana w8...o wel. myt as wel get it over wiv..ryt? no point waiting round 4 ever..yeh?? o wel...here goes... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhh!

wow,just got an overwellming feelin of terror then...not had that since..yeh since then.

*looks round*

kinda worried bout a m8. cant really say much else. just am worried.dnt no wot to do tho...shud i say summet...i'l just b there,if ne fing goes wrong,or im needed...im prob wrong,worryin bout nothing...BUT IM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!

hmpf..so u complain bout wot i write..u say i lie,talk shit,waffle,am boring...o n just rant all the time...well im sorry i cnt b perfect and write wot YOU want me to write on my blog...well,if it pisses you off that much...DONT FUCKIN READ IT!

stupid cunt! i mean...cunts!!

Feeel like shit,look lyk shit,feel really small and a waste of space..oo n ot forgetting im lazy and do nothing and scrounge money..YEH and this is cumin from the fat twat hu sucks the arse off kiddies rich mummie and daddy yet snubs huis nose up to the ppl hu dnt hav as much money..FUCK YOU,YOU ARSE! At least i work for mine,i dnt hav to ask mummy and daddy(not that daddy wud hav ne money but still...)i dnt ask for money!

so yeh,i feel like shit.

Mum is convinsed im gettin beaten up just coz i am covered in bruses n cuts n stuff...There is such fing as not being able to use str8ners properly u no!

Also,mum wants to go to my so called 'respectable' school n kick off at the fat twat for wot he is doin to me. yehhhhhh coz that is really goin to make it better isnt it! pfft he'd prob get a high out of it! He normally does! God,this so called trip which is ment to be a dream is turning in to one big fuckin nightmare!  id rather give all the money we raised to the fuckin Tsunami disaster.Atleast they wud appreciate the money..coz we certainly dnt!

pfffffft thats men for you!

hmmm,soo the train adventure changed to day out in kendal (lol lol lol) grrrr bloody trains...'next train...20clock' *looks at watch* fuck me its 1 o clock (btw i cudnt b bothered to w8 so we went back in town heheh to put a long story short lol) but still had fun...bumped in to a few cocks, *cough* i mean people..bumped in2 a two faced bitch hu is all pally pally to me wen im wiv archer but wen im gone she is all over him..HA HA but hu is he wiv...yeh.ME! pffft...told him this n he was like..'lol thats my gud luks for u' god i cud punch him sum time...got a got cross bun (m hot cross bun) i really dnt no y im telllin all this coz its crap. Its not like its vital info which will save the worls or out...i gues i fort i shud say it.wudnt b me if i didnt tlk crap wud i ! heheh

o n josh..plz dnt ask me if i hav ne green on me again.wel..not infront of my BF *shadey eyes* heheh im good remembr lol..Yeh!

nehooo..im off to dye my hair...cheerio x

currently...kinda stoned,bored,hungry and scared.why u ask? because it seems that the best couples (wel,not including miss kid n co) are plitting (i mean splittin!)up. why does this scare me? Because ...erm..it makes one think that is every1 around them is breaking up,it will only be time til oneself breaks up...right?

*looks scared*

Hmmm,wel i wnt let it happen (unless of course i allow it to ) But you get my point tho right?

o...and i will not turn into a scabby monster just because i have a scab on my cheak *rubs cheek* that fucking hurt..and i wont do it again...wel i hope i dnt!